Spruve AGAIN.

So on Friday, after seeing the unbelievably great Star Trek, we're driving home and I notice that, hey, braking is kind of difficult. Like, I'm fully stopped and squeezing the pedal and yet inching forward ever so slightly. Closer examination reveals my car is pissing brake fluid due to some kind of rupture in the brake line. So it's sitting at a garage waiting to be fixed, but since they don't do that kind of thing of Sundays, no one will even look at it til tomorrow morning. So I've got to remember to get up early and phone them so I can have a car again by Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm staying with my parents because work is too far otherwise.

Staying here is typically a death sentence. I moved out for a reason, after all. But there are good things. This morning I woke up and got my bike out of the garage. Fill up the tires, fail at adjusting the rusted seat, and bam, away I go for an hour, revisiting the old trails I called home every summer out here. When I got back home, I decided to repeat the trail again. It felt great, though now I feel more sore than anything. It's good.
I guess I've lost like 13 lbs in the last month or so, which is great, but I'm still a tubby fuck at 190. I'm trying to get closer to 170 this summer, and running will help. But out here I've got a bike and it doesn't require different shoes.

Last night I was very close to falling apart completely. The loss of mobility and freedom, work stuff, and general life stress has been adding up to unbearable levels lately. For one, my dearest friend is coming to visit this Friday for a week before leaving the country permanently for the land of the Scots. It should be a fun filled week, or a week of joyful pain, if it's anything like we used to be. Tears and laughter. But trying to plan around a week of visiting is some high stress shit. I have a car in the shop that I need to get to another shop for all the other maintenance it needs this week, I have a room that has been gutted and purged and halfway organized by the saintly patient ms chaingun, and I'm working every fucking night until Visitor A gets here. Sigh.

As far as the lovey dovey bullshit of late, that I can't give up on. I hid it for way too long to let go of it now. The summer will be interesting and probably end devastatingly, but all I can do now is look at the brick wall we are hurtling towards and count seconds.